I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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