What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
