Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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