Screwed.edu
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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