problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
