I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
