i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
