I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
