he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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