I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
