watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
