Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
