tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
