Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
