I think my vagina is haunted
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
