I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So squirting runs in the family.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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