So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We smell like vodka and hangover
I did not marry a roomba.
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