if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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