Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
