This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
