at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
