If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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