5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
