So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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