Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
