Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
