are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
