i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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