Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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