he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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