Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
