I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think i have herpe
just one?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
