He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
