he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
