yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
