she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
did you just send me my own nude
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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