Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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