I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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