it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
