Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
