I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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