hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
