i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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