addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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