well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
