Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
