Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
