Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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