i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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