Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
